No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here
So what is this website? Who is the author? On what grounds does she justify your patronage?
“This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.”A long term nuclear waste warning message. (Wikipedia)
Please don’t take anything I say too seriously. I made this website to archive Twitter threads people liked a lot. I mean, I have an article I was writing for P&S that’s been in my drafts for the last 9 months. Do not expect frequent updates. Instead of quality writing, accept this very shoddily edited video of shooting and smoking under thermals. You can get an exclusive view of how hot I actually am.
In all seriousness, humility is important and it’s not something I feel like I always succeed in achieving. I have a lot of areas that require growth and I’m far from an expert in many areas. If I had to describe myself, acknowledging the paradox of potential glory seeking through feigned humility, I’d have to say I’m an “experienced novice.” I’ve had non-insignificant number of individuals look up to me and admire my technical and practical skill sets. The fact of the matter is, there’s always another person who knows more about a certain subject than I do.
At times in my past, I’ve been blindly ignorant and intentionally dismissive of viewpoints and criticism of my failings. I’d say that a certain influencing factor could’ve been the culture of the groups I was a member of, but overall the responsibility for personal growth and betterment lies entirely with myself. Only in recent years have I begun to break out of those patterns and objectively examine the criticisms leveled towards me.
I’ll be blunt. I’m a smug bitch at times. I still have so much to learn. While learning the value of self confidence has been an important part of my recovery; I let it overtake my capabilities and it quickly developed into a blind, near suicidal, overconfidence. It could easily be said that I was trapped by my own fear and my past. It’s really only been in the past year and a half that I’ve started learning how to balance a reasonable estimation of my capabilities and self worth with the negligent patterns of behavior of my past.
What I mean to say by all of this, is that I’m simply a person on a journey. I realize that can sound self indulgent and “basic” of me, but it’s true. I feel like I’ve come a long way already, but I know for certain I’m nowhere near where I’d like to be. I can’t say where I’ll end up, but I’m confident that as long as I value humility and strive to be a positive force for the people in my life, I’ll have made material growth.
Be excellent to each other and yourself my friends.